Sickly Speculations

Today I finally am a bit ill. Everyone in my house and all the relatives are sick so it was impending doom, didn't help that I spent the whole day on Saturday at Lake Titicaca in the freezing moist wind. But totally worth it (will post pics later!). Spent a lovely week with the Eteam that was here from Kingsway in Richmond, convenient huh? It was fun to translate for them and share all the phrases I know that make me seem oh so much more Bolivian than gringa. Mentira...

I finished a huge project at work last week so today I had hardly a thing to do. I spent most of the day thinking about/researching for my future. This usually excites me because I love all the unknown options floating out there ready to be grabbed and turned into an incredible experience, but today I was anxious. This morning our devotional was about el valor cristiano Mayordomo--stewardship. What does it mean to be a good steward of my gifts and skills? Does it simply mean increasing them through education, or does being a good steward imply that I use these gifts for OTHERS? I'm interested in SO MANY things. Too many, it's dangerous for my future because I'm not sure exactly where I want to live or go or do. I would be happy anywhere, honestly. But if I am guided by the Lord's will, where he wants me to do the most good... does this mean I should jump at exciting opportunities simply because I could learn something new or go somewhere different, or should I remain in a familiar place where I can be much more useful? What I've experienced in Bolivia so far is that I'm a receiver until I'm useful enough to be a giver. I can't expect to breeze into a new place and pour myself out and change the city. There is so much I have to learn and receive from the people here before I can really be of any use to them. But the receiving is a GOOD THING--so necessary, although humbling!--so that one day in the future I can have an impact, DV. The constant traveler is one who is rarely able to serve, I think. Of course there are exceptions, and of course some occupations require constant travel. But I just don't want my appetite for travel and new experiences to poison my usefulness, to kill the gifts God has given me that he wants to employ. Praying that he will guide my feet and be a light to my path, one day at a time :)