Sickly Speculations

Today I finally am a bit ill. Everyone in my house and all the relatives are sick so it was impending doom, didn't help that I spent the whole day on Saturday at Lake Titicaca in the freezing moist wind. But totally worth it (will post pics later!). Spent a lovely week with the Eteam that was here from Kingsway in Richmond, convenient huh? It was fun to translate for them and share all the phrases I know that make me seem oh so much more Bolivian than gringa. Mentira...

I finished a huge project at work last week so today I had hardly a thing to do. I spent most of the day thinking about/researching for my future. This usually excites me because I love all the unknown options floating out there ready to be grabbed and turned into an incredible experience, but today I was anxious. This morning our devotional was about el valor cristiano Mayordomo--stewardship. What does it mean to be a good steward of my gifts and skills? Does it simply mean increasing them through education, or does being a good steward imply that I use these gifts for OTHERS? I'm interested in SO MANY things. Too many, it's dangerous for my future because I'm not sure exactly where I want to live or go or do. I would be happy anywhere, honestly. But if I am guided by the Lord's will, where he wants me to do the most good... does this mean I should jump at exciting opportunities simply because I could learn something new or go somewhere different, or should I remain in a familiar place where I can be much more useful? What I've experienced in Bolivia so far is that I'm a receiver until I'm useful enough to be a giver. I can't expect to breeze into a new place and pour myself out and change the city. There is so much I have to learn and receive from the people here before I can really be of any use to them. But the receiving is a GOOD THING--so necessary, although humbling!--so that one day in the future I can have an impact, DV. The constant traveler is one who is rarely able to serve, I think. Of course there are exceptions, and of course some occupations require constant travel. But I just don't want my appetite for travel and new experiences to poison my usefulness, to kill the gifts God has given me that he wants to employ. Praying that he will guide my feet and be a light to my path, one day at a time :)

It's a Jungle Out There

This post is dedicated to limon con leche, because frankly that's the only reason we went to Caranavi. This town 6 hrs north of La Paz (but 10,000 feet down) is apparently the only place in all of Bolivia where you can buy this beyond incredible key lime pie-in-a-drink dessert. And only at one little roadstand. Anyways, we went at least three times. Here's Gerhard and all the American interns! (don't worry I mostly hang out with Bolivians but this trip all of us gringas happened to go)

Caranavi finally felt like I was in a Third World country. Really awesome experience. Every house was a small run down one or two room shack. Trash everywhere. Dogs everywhere. Barefoot kids running through the freezing mud. There aren't even any police in Caranavi because a few months ago there were strikes and riots and the people burned down the police station.

The drive through the mountains was a thriller--a one lane road serving two-way bus traffic with very steep drops off the side. The mountains were covered with patches of coca farms. Caranavi is a very hard place to develop because the children would rather farm coca than go to school--

it's a profitable business!

I was struck by several things in this town: first, I'm more convinced than ever that the Lord has mission & development work in my future, because I never get carsick or afraid! Haha but really. I realized what a gift that is--the dangerous roads and freezing showers and mud and lack of toilet paper in the bathrooms and hard beds and squished cars... with all this I really think I could be content! It doesn't bother me. So that's good news. Also I was so encouraged to see the passion of the village people as we worshiped the Lord together on Sunday in this tiny, barely-roofed church down a dirty alley. God is WORKING, even in these remote, undereducated and poor places. And a lot of that fruit is due to the missionaries there in Caranavi--I got to spend a lot of time with one family--I so admire their peaceful plodding in the way of the Lord as they simply live with and give of themselves for these people. Some of the most contented, gracious, and generous people I've met. That's the result of living solely for the kingdom. It's really beautiful.

Just ran for the first time here.

Hence, this is gonna be a short post. WHEW the altitude kills the lungs! Running downhill is no respite at 10,000 ft. Pucha.

I'm afraid the novelty of blogging has worn off for me, so you may expect beautifully short posts from here on out! Hurrah. Let's see... this past weekend I went downtown all day Sat with Sara, SO fun, we hit up a bunch of museums, historical streets, and markets. It's fascinating to see the blend of indigenous, Inca, and Spanish influences on the architecture and history here. I could spend maaaannnnny more days downtown. OH we also saw a parade of native dancers!! So interesting. Not sure what it was for, but sweet. Other news. Copa Mundial took up most of Sunday. The whole Dueri family here was supporting Spain, and about 20 of us watched the game together--what a happy day... cars were honking all down the street waving Espana flags later. Haha. Ended the day with more soccer with church folks.

An eteam from Richmond arrives on Thurs! Very excited to see them. Then this weekend off to the jungle!!

Finally, Quiet

I thought I would be alone a lot here. I was looking forward to it quite a lot :) With rather mixed feelings I'm finding that not at all the case; so that's why this Fri night I am relishing being home alone--this is the first time since I arrived that I have a whole night of nothing! Ah, bliss.

And so, I'm reading Out Stealing Horses which I found lying around here, EXCELLENT, a perfect quiet night read in the vein of Potok or Coetzee if you're a fan... listening to Juan Luis Guerra, boiling water for pasta, eating yet more fruit, and stirring every time one of the half dozen clocks in this house goes off.

Work has been much better. I have a lot to do finally (and NOT translating! WOOT). Still I am constantly humbled by how stupid I feel here. It's a really good thing for me. I don't feel like I'm serving anyone or being useful in any way... but God's reminded me in the last couple days that I DO NOT MATTER anyways--it is not about ME--what matters is the fulfillment of his plan-->to bring himself glory. Yet amazingly, I do matter to him, in spite of my stupidity and faithlessness to love him, he LOVES ME... read this today, "The LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth. It was NOT because you were more in number than any other people that the LORD set his love on you and chose you, for you were the fewest of all peoples, but it is because the LORD LOVES YOU." deut7:6-8. Crazy. Be encouraged guys. Thankfully he loves us not for ourselves but for the NEW selves he's created within us...

Street Life.

Every day I walk 4 blocks to work and it's always a highlight. I used to think I always wanted to live in the country. False. Maybe some day when I have numerous grandchildren and only want to garden and knit but for the moment, I love living in the city! I love the excited pulse of the morning commute, no WAY should you try to cross the street then or it would be death (so I take the bridge over the street). Buses, minibuses, and all sorts of taxis are speeding through the streetlight-less roads, yelling out where they're going and trying to recruit passengers. Cholas (indigenous Bolivian women) in their long brightly colored skirts and shawls (and sometimes babies on their back) are setting up little fruit stands and shops along the road. The sound of high heels clacking on uneven cobblestones. Saltena shops opening their doors. In the afternoon when I walk home for lunch it's more sedated--the whole world is on siesta. People are lounging in the park and even on the sidewalks, sleeping and sunning. Stores close. Everyone is home for lunch with the family and a brief nap before returning to work. Ahh the city... when I'm around so much chaos I think less and take in more. Maybe it's a good thing for me to not think so much. Anyways, Thomas Jefferson said you should never think while you walk but simply WALK. These daily commutes in Obrajes have been excellent times to observe Bolivian life, just soaking in the colors and language and architecture and SUN, without letting any other thoughts get in the way!

No llama sightings, sore as all get out, pero canta y no llores!

Oh, Las Yungas. How incredible can it get. This was my most jungleish experience to date, and I'm definitely ready to return. We drove about 10,000 feet down the mountains late at night to get to the youth retreat here in the lowlands where we stayed Fri-Sun. Hilarious company, incredible teaching and worship, unbelievable flora and fauna, and some fabulous futbol. I could've hiked around this place all day. Glorious butterflies and colorful birds, banana and orange trees EVERYWHERE. Discovered it was illegal to pick the oranges a bit too late, alas. :) Great 3hr game of soccer on Sunday. HOT. Mosquitos. Amazing. Not sure what was goin on in this pic but I must've been feeling it! These boys play in jeans and street shoes and are better than any I've seen. SO fun. On the way home on Sunday we stopped in Coroico--a small mountaintop town with breathtaking views--for pancakes and ice cream. DELI. Sorry that all my pics are of mountains. Seriously can't get over them!!

The Lord was kind this weekend and answered many prayers. I went into the retreat praying as I have been for a while that I would FEEL and not simply know his love, that I would be able to love him back with my whole heart and soul and not just my mind. Every session and song kept bringing back this theme! He reminded me that when I am

faithless, he is FAITHFUL--when I lack passion for him, he never lacks

passionate love for me. "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you" (Jer 31.3). Crazy. And any love I can give back to him is there because he's given it to me--"God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us" (Ro5.5)--it HAS been poured! The beauty of the tense of this verb. It's there and it's from him and it's for him. I can't love on my own and I can't feel love on my own. This is a work of the Lord. Not something that simply is promised, but something that has already happened--and he will continue to be faithful. Anyways. God didn't just teach me that, but he also gave me an overwhelming sense of love for him! Very encouraged that I am a loved daughter of God. Atrae en mi corazon, Jesus!